How Making Yourself a Priority Can Revitalize Your Marriage
by Jennifer Kelley, guest blogger
Another Valentine’s Day is here, prompting reflection on how to nurture lasting love amidst the chaos of kids, careers, errands that never seem to end...
As working moms, we carry incredible responsibility trying to “do it all” flawlessly. The needs of partners and little ones validly occupy much of our mental space. But, in the quest to tend to everyone else’s happiness, our own gets overlooked far too often.
What I’ve discovered in my journey of marriage and motherhood is that regularly taking time to fill YOUR cup is the secret sauce keeping romantic connection alive! I know it sounds counterintuitive when you’re overwhelmed trying to balance obligations. Wouldn’t carving out “me time” further strain an already packed schedule?
Here’s the thing - when you start prioritizing self-care, whatever form that takes for you, your marriage reaps countless benefits! Making space to nourish your body and spirit allows you to show up fully present for your spouse in ways that foster mutual fulfillment.
I see you shaking your heads wondering how tea breaks and baths help a partnership. Let me convince you with some truth bombs!
You Become a Better ListenerBetween hustling kids to school, crushing your workflow and fielding everyone’s needs, do you ever catch your mind wandering as your husband recounts his day over dinner? Do you nod along half-listening while preparing tomorrow’s mental to-do list?
When you gift yourself pockets of peace reading, stretching, or walking outdoors, you hit internal reset buttons lowering stress. In turn, your attention and patience expands to genuinely hear your love and connect deeper emotionally. The everyday conversations cementing “us” grow richer.
You Initiate Intimacy MoreI know moms who “saved their marriage” with a new lingerie subscription for date nights. But sexy outfits fall flat if underneath you’re too mentally foggy and physically depleted for affection. Self-care directly correlates to libido!
Think about it - when you commit to consistent movement, adequate sleep, proper nutrition (all forms of me-time), your confidence, sensuality and satisfaction soars! You actually crave physical connection experiencing vitality in your own skin first. Prioritization becomes the ultimate foreplay allowing intimacy to organically flow.
You Have Energy to Plan Creative, Joy-Filled ExperiencesWhat initially drew you and your spouse together? Shared adventures, laughter, new memories in the making. But the years seem to dull youthful spontenaiety and fun as survival mode sets in. Responsibilities pile on top of best-laid dreams.
Carving out pockets of restorative personal activities gifts you renewed enthusiasm for going all in to create magical moments together. You tap into mental clarity and added bandwidth in your week that’s necessary for date night brainstorming and playful romantic gestures reminding you both why you fell in love!
In Summary... Maybe the idea of showering love on yourself FIRST still feels uncomfortably indulgent given everything competing for your time and attention daily as a wife and mother. I urge you to challenge that notion! Because pouring into YOUR cup allows you to give from a place of abundance rather than deficit.
At the end of life, the relationships we nurtured provide far more meaning than any achievement on paper. Position yourself to water that garden with your husband by cementing self-care as a non-negotiable priority refilling you regularly. Deeper connections grow exponentially when you're operating from a full tank in all areas.
This Valentine's Day, reflect on tangible ways to put your needs higher up on lists that never seem to shorten. You showing up energized and fully present is the ultimate gift to your shared journey. May you rekindle passion and purpose making each other laugh like the honeymoon never ended! ❤️
Jennifer Kelley is a married mother of two living in Cary, N.C. As a certified nutrition and fitness coach, she helps women take control of their wellbeing through personalized guidance on nutrition, exercise and lifestyle changes.