Five Tips to Navigate Back-To-School Anxiety
By Morgan Fowler, RN, MSN, CPNP-PC
August is upon us. For a lot of families that means back-to-school time. For some kids, starting school for the first time or starting at a new school can be an extremely overwhelming experience. Back-to-school anxiety is a real thing. It can occur in any child, but is more likely to occur in those prone to be more anxious with big transitions. However, it can present itself in a lot of different ways. As we approach back-to-school season, I want to highlight a few red flag signals that children can display when experiencing back-to-school anxiety and equip parents to help kids through it!
Anxiety is a common emotional problem in children, and it can be expressed as fears, worries, or nervousness. Situational anxiety is different from anxiety disorders, which are a topic for a different day. What I am addressing here is focused on situational anxiety, which most people experience at some point in their life. A great example can be the nervousness you might feel if you had a big test or speech to give. The nerves pass as the situation passes.
How to Spot Situational Anxiety in Kids
Situational anxiety is commonly associated with back-to-school time and can present itself in a variety of ways. Children can exhibit changes in behavior, physical symptoms, emotional symptoms, outbursts, or just be extra clingy depending on their age. Let’s break these down a bit more…
Changes in Behavior: Some children will start to show changes in behavior as the first day of school approaches. This can include unexplained irritability, seeming withdrawn, or changes in sleep patterns. A common sign of anxiety in children is an inability to sleep. If your kiddo has been a great sleeper for years and is suddenly unable to sleep, they may be experiencing nervousness surrounding the first day of school.
Physical Symptoms: While anxiety is often thought of as an emotional state, it can very much present in children as physical symptoms. Physical symptoms can include headaches, stomachaches, loss of appetite OR overeating (stress eating), or becoming easily fatigued. Feeling anxious can increase your child’s heart rate which means they are burning more calories than normal. Calories give the body energy. If they are burning their energy faster than normal, they can be a lot more fatigued. If you note your child complaining of vague physical symptoms more than usual, I urge parents to start recording when this is happening during the day or week. Keeping a record of physical symptoms can help parents and providers identify triggers for these symptoms, and also help us to evaluate symptoms patterns. For example, does this often occur on Sunday nights when school is pending the next day? Is meet-the-teacher soon?
Emotional Symptoms/Outburst: This can present as tantrums, arguing, seemingly becoming upset over small issues. For some children, depending on age, these features may just be normal development. However, if you are noticing a big change in behavior or emotionality as the school year approaches, it could be a sign your child is feeling nervous about this upcoming change.
Clinginess: Separation anxiety is a real thing and is a very normal developmental trait in children until about the age of 2-3-years-old. As children develop a better understanding of permanence, separation anxiety tends to resolve. If your child is early school age, or older than 4-years-old, and you note they are reverting back to extreme clinginess or separation anxiety, they may be struggling with the idea of school transitions.
How Parents Can Help Kids with Back-To-School Anxiety
If your child is experiencing these traits surrounding heading back to school or starting school, how can you help them?
Prepare Them Early + Establish Routines: Starting school is a big transition, especially for kindergarten because it may be the first time your child has been away from the house, especially for a full day. I know parents want to cram in all the activities and summer fun before the school year starts, but I recommend establishing the new routines at least one to two weeks before the transition occurs.
Going to school will be a huge transition in and of itself. If bedtime, meal times or activities need to change to accommodate the new school schedule, try and change those things at least a week in advance to acclimate your child to the routine before the big transition occurrsTalk, Talk, Talk: Encourage your child to talk to you about all the things they are concerned about. Try not to minimize their feelings by saying, “Don’t worry about that,” or, “You shouldn’t be concerned about that.” These phrases are well-meaning but can sometimes make kids feel ashamed or uncomfortable sharing how they are feeling. Be an active listener, and ask open-ended questions to get your child to open up about their fears.
Utilize Meet-the-Teacher and School Tour Events: If possible, let your child explore their new environment with you before leaving them there on the first day. Let them meet the teacher and see their classroom. This can help ease the fears of the unknown before they go on the first day.
Remain Positive: For many parents, the kindergarten transition can be difficult, as well as when children go off to middle school or high school. These transitions are milestones in a parent’s life as well as in a child’s. For parents, these milestones can create some sadness or mixed emotions. When speaking with your child about school, try to highlight the positive aspects of their growth and development that lead to these milestones! Focus on the fun things they will get to experience at school and all the new things they will get to learn. Set the stage with your own reaction to the transition. Kids are perceptive. If you are anxious, they may become so as well.
Teach Some Coping Mechanisms: Talk to kids about deep breathing techniques or counting when they feel overwhelmed. When my kids get overwhelmed and seem to be spiraling, we count fingers and toes to divert attention. Another way I get my five-year-old to take deep breaths is by holding up five fingers. I then make her “blow them out” like birthday candles, putting one finger down for every deep breath she takes in and blows out. Sometimes a simple activity can divert their attention long enough to stop spiraling emotions.
While these tips can be helpful for back-to-school purposes, they’re also useful in everyday situations when anxiety tries to get the best of your kids - or you! I’m personally a fan of integrating scripture and prayer into the process, and a favorite verse I use with my family is, “Fear not, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10, ESV). Try memorizing it or a different verse and integrating it with some of the tips above.
Morgan Fowler is a mother of three and a pediatric nurse with extensive experience in physician office and emergency room settings. She believes many pediatric visits can be avoided with proper education and she’s on a mission to share her experience to benefit families.
Disclaimer: The information provided on this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Restored is not a medical provider and does not offer medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.
