WRAL: How this working mom is surviving 'MayHem'
I almost didn’t write this article. Why? Because it’s spring…and we’re in the throes of surviving MayHem (credit to my friend Kayte Fry for that on-point seasonal description). Spring is busy for any family, and for moms managing career and family responsibilities…it can be brutal.
While my husband does a lot of the heavy lifting for school lunches, morning carpool, trip planning and many of the household responsibilities, here’s a quick peek at some of what’s on my plate this week…
Unpack from father/daughter Y Guides trip
Unpack from mother/son Beaufort trip
Kickoff master bathroom reno project
Shuttle kids to run club, doctors’ appointments and soccer practice + game
Prep for day-long 4th grade field trip (whew…hubby’s chaperoning, not me!)
Celebrate 16th wedding anniversary AND husband’s 40th birthday
Celebrate dad’s birthday
Lead Bible study
Deliver client strategic plan
Prep for client podcast interview
Research and book photographer for branded shoot
Help 4th grade history and science projects progress
Lock in qualified Restored speakers for May mental health + motherhood event
Figure out dinner…and lunch…and snacks…
It’s no wonder spring always feels stressful for moms…there’s a heck of a lot going on! We all have work deadlines. We all (begrudgingly) manage through end-of-year schoolwork. We all commit to spring sports and activities. And then we endure never-ending to-dos until we reach summer break (which, by the way, brings an entirely different set of challenges for moms holding down jobs and homes).
Why is this season so hard, and how can moms enjoy spring while also maintaining some semblance sanity? I honestly have no clue…but suspect enlisting and accepting help from others wouldn’t hurt. So, here are three ways I’m working to incorporate help this season…
Accept the help
We’re blessed to have grandparents who live nearby and neighbors we trust. Yet, I’m notorious for feeling like I “shouldn’t” ask them for help. It sounds silly, but there’s a universal feeling of failure and guilt that accompany the acknowledgment that we can’t do it all. The world tells us from an early age that we should be able to do it all, that we can have it all and we ought to enjoy it all. But, the world is wrong (more on that here). The truth is that my worth is not, and never will be, determined by my output. Because of that, it’s OK for me to accept help from those around me when I’m overloaded…or even when I’m not. Guilt has no place in our spring calendar.
Stop “helping” others
I realized recently that I “help” others in ways they never asked me to. I assume everyone is busy, stressed and over-committed like me, so I choose to decline their support because I don’t want to be a burden, add to a full plate or seem as though I’m taking advantage of a relationship. In my mind, I’m proactively helping them by not asking them to help me. I‘m decreasing their workload, reducing their mental load and creating space in their calendar…without ever considering that perhaps they have some extra time, or want to be involved, or – dare I say it – do some things better. When my husband reminds me, “I’ve got this,” I can trust that he does.
Spread the joy
If grandparents get joy out of helping with carpool, taking kids to dinner, or shuttling them to practice, then why would I steal that joy? How else will they pour out wisdom, pass on family traditions or share their stories? When I choose to spread joy in the small spaces, it can benefit us both.
The same is true for neighbors and friends. If a trusted, well-aligned friend wants to help us raise our kids, great. They possess incredible gifts, talents and skills that I don’t, and it would be a shame to rob them of sharing those gifts with others.